THE BIG NO! The social and the personal

The big OXI! Yesterday was the celebration of the NO vote. The thing about NO is that whether on a personal or social level, it is the limit we set for others so that they don’t violate us. How we say, express and manifest this OXI is very important. As well as the wisdom in saying it in the moment when we feel it, understanding the circumstances under which we say it. It is one thing to say no to a food you don’t like, another to a possession, and another when you are asked to do your job and you refuse for selfish reasons.

The big social no

The big social not issues of a large population. They respond to national issues, issues of national sovereignty or other very serious issues such as whether or not to participate in a war. Or the right or not to vote, like any other right. Yesterday’s anniversary was about the historic NO that was said, setting the limits for the Italians. They wanted to enter the country with their troops and occupy strategic points (ports, airports, etc.). In order to be easily refuelled and used in war. By saying this NO, on October 28, 1940 we officially entered World War II as a country. So what power does a no have? It can affect the lives of millions now and in the future. To set limits for generations.

So are the NO’s concerning any human exploitation, violence and oppression.. Any NO to injustice, racism, nationalism. Even how a country, a continent, for example, says no to violence against women and any violation of their rights. The same goes for the LGBTI community, but also for all kinds of discrimination. Whether it concerns religion, nation, race, sexual preference, social attitude, etc. And ultimately, it’s about freedom!

The big personal no

The big personal no’s are just as important. If I think of myself as a country where my soul resides, how much do I take care of it and protect it? Whether my NO’s are loud, even when I say them with the utmost courtesy. Why the NO is supported by a posture of body, emotion and finally an attitude of life. FindAs a woman I have to learn to say NO to everything I don’t like to do to my body and soul. And as a man I need to say NO to whatever urges or impulses come to me, without consent from the other side. And even though I’ve been raised that it’s my right to a woman’s body that I like. (e.g. my pasha all women fall at your feet).

The big personal NO’s are about my personal safety and protection. But also respect for the right to life of others, which I say and mean with all my being.

When do NOs help and when do they not?

When the NOs are about moments of survival, they are very understandable. But many times I may say NO to something that would be good for me, out of rigidity. Or not to say NO to something I should, because I was afraid. It’s another thing to say NO when it comes to taking responsibility, such as not going to work because I’m bored. Or not to do something assigned to you if you don’t get a kickback. And there’s the NO that I have to say if someone comes along and wants to take something that belongs to me. Either mental or material.

Knowing when to say NO or when to become rigid is important for my survival, for my functionality and for my mental and social development. It is a life skill!

If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your life and saying your no’s, or if you find yourself in denial at times when you shouldn’t be, I suggest we work on this together, through individual sessions.