Can a woman alone be happy? Usually when we hear the phrase “woman alone”, the verb “looking” comes to mind. But is this true? Any woman who is single is sure to be looking for a partner? Or ultimately happiness? Or is it possible that she’s already happy? Society has its own definitions of happiness and as we go back further in generations we will see a basic formula. And I’m referring to the “work, marriage, children” trifecta. Probably for a woman, even today, “marriage and children” is still considered to be just that. So is this recipe that has been spread to all of us really for everyone?
Questions and thoughts very timely as we are all looking for that something that will make us feel good. What is it that applies?
The stereotypes singlism + matrimania
We live in a society that has stuck to the stereotype that if a woman is alone she is a failure. This is very far from reality. And we will analyse this with the help of surveys. Dr. Bella DePaulo from the University of California is one of the researchers who study the psychology of singles. She declares herself single for her entire life and that she has a truly meaningful and meaningful life at the age of 60. He has devoted the last two decades to research on singles.
He has also studied stereotypes in relation to monasticism-singlism and society’s obsession with marriage-matrimania. In one case we are talking about discrimination, the constant pressure and the attempt to marginalize especially women -women alone- and on the other hand matrimania is about the constant social over-promotion that makes marriage the only way for a woman in her life. A demolition by opinions and norms promoted by the media, social media, and social structures .And most of all it is the parents and relatives who put this pressure with press questions: You still why didn’t you get married or the comments, here’s so-and-so had a family when did you? And with the preconceived notion that a woman alone is unhappy.
What about a woman alone?
The truth is that the reason a woman alone chose to be alone is purely her own and personal. Indeed, there are studies that say that long-term relationships and marriage are a factor in happiness. But he is not the only one. And how could it be, when a large percentage of marriages end in divorce. When marriage and relationships take work and dedication to succeed, which is not that common. When we see that there are the metoo phenomena, the femicides. As well as the phenomenon that many mothers raise their children alone while the husband is indifferent. While there are studies like Dr. Bella DePaulo’s that show that a woman will be happy in a marriage when she was happy before it .
A woman alone can have the time to cultivate herself, to see what she wants and to respect herself, her needs and her wants. She learns to cope with loneliness, difficulty, crisis on the basis of her strengths. And the very difficult! To experience her grief, her pain. A woman alone can take the courageous plunge into the depths of her soul. But she can also stay there and experience it, find what haunts her and resolve it. Heal it. But also to see what in her completes her and makes her happy.
To see in depth what is so true for all of us, that happiness comes with acceptance and peace with our inner self. And of course with the trust that the soul knows where it is taking us, which is the path that makes us feel good.
What matters is how you find happiness!
And yes, maybe what makes you feel good is spirituality, or dance, or your work, or hiking, or a sport. It can make you feel good to make art, to make jewellery or clothes or to teach and do research. Also, friends who are really there for you are a treasure! But that relief that comes from feeling that my soul knows where it is taking me. And he knows what makes me happy is what you need.
Of course having a family and children is great, but not by force. Because your parents and relatives tell you to. But because you felt that you found your man and that yes, you really do want to have children with him/her. How your soul recognized this man to be your companions in life. And together you can raise your children. If this path is not for you, that is your right. And in this case what can lead you to sadness is to let the pressure of society get the better of you.
The road to happiness is is purely your own affair!
If you’re having trouble…
If you are having difficulty finding your own way, it is important to ask for help. Because we live in a world that has many demands and pressures. So if you need support we can work on it together through individual sessions. I will be happy to be by your side as you find your own ways to feel good!